Edgar Mitchell: A Real American Believer

"Astronaut? More like AstroGnostic!"

Edgar Mitchell was a schoolboy in Roswell, New Mexico when the flying saucer crashed. By 1971, he was an Apollo 14 astronaut walking on the moon (that is, if you believe in “the moon”).

As he gazed back at Earth’s enclosed globe (wink, wink), Mitchell had a mystical experience of “universal connectedness.” He realized humankind is all one species and that artificial borders separate us from our oneness. This inspired him to found a parapsychological research group, the Institute of Noetic Sciences.

Reading Mitchell’s autobiography some years ago, I was disappointed to learn he became a big fan of the Israeli spoonbender Uri Geller. I don’t know what Mitchell thought of Geller’s disastrous 1973 appearance on the Johnny Carson Show, where the alleged psychic failed to bend a single spoon after they secretly switched the silverware.

According to Geller, Mitchell trusted the psychic enough to introduce him to the Nazi rocket scientist Wernher von Braun some time in the 70s. A couple of years ago, Geller told Israel’s i24NEWS that von Braun had showed him pieces of extraterrestrial spacecraft and some unspeakable thing held in an underground facility. Presumably, Edgar Mitchell got the same tour. Or maybe Geller is just full of shit.

Mitchell was a brawler when he wanted to be. In the early 2000s, that redneck moonlanding truther showed up at Mitchell’s house with a cameraman and asked the astronaut if he would avow he really went to the moon. “You bet your sweet ass I will.” Laying his hand on the bible, Mitchell swore “under penalty of eternal damnation”—which he also said he didn’t believe in—that he did indeed walk on the moon. Then he showed old boy the door and kneed his ass on the way out.

Late in life, Mitchell insisted Roswell “old-timers” told him they actually recovered craft from that flying saucer crash. He believed the government has alien corpses stored at Area 51. In 2008, he told a Florida news station various aliens have long been observing us.

“They obviously have a different body configuration than we do,” Mitchell explained, as if describing vegetables from his garden, “and the little grays—that’s the most prevalent one.”

In 2015, Mitchell sent an urgent email to the political operative John Podesta, trying to arrange a private discussion about UFO disclosure, zero-point energy, and “the Vatican’s awareness of ETI [extraterrestrial intelligence].” Mitchell died the next year. Podesta went on to make the 2020 documentary The Phenomenon about how aliens will be more friendly to humanity if we all become turbolibs and adopt green energy.

Mitchell was an American Hero, even if the guy would believe damn near anything (except in eternal damnation, but I reckon that wasn’t an issue when he got to the gates beyond “the moon”).

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